The Ballad of Jack Johnson (John Jackson)

I don't believe I've posted anything on politics to date, which is quite unsual given the amount of time I spend arguing political issues - with other people, in my head, or otherwise. So, with an over-hyped election coming up in a week, I figure now would be as good a time as any and what better way to begin with a little Futurama:

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The scene is Bender, Fry, and Leela watching a political debate for the President of Earth.

  Johnson: It's time someone had the courage to stand up and say: "I'm against those things that everybody hates".

  Jackson: Now I respect my opponent. I think he's a good man but, quite frankly, I agree with everything he just said!

Fry: These are the candidates? They sound like clones. [He looks a little harder.] Wait a minute. They are clones!

Leela: Don't let their identical DNA fool you. They differ on some key issues.

  Johnson: I say your three cent titanium tax goes too far.

  Jackson: And I say your three cent titanium tax doesn't go too far enough!

Fry: If I were registered to vote, I'd send these clowns a message by staying home on election day and dressing up like a clown.

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Ah, subtle satire.

If the age-old axiom that "the more things change, the more they stay the same" is true of life then it is especially true in politics. To further stifle any progress hoped for by our founding fathers, we're stuck with a two-party system that resembles two conglomerates competing for nothing more than greater market share. Unlike a corporation, however, there is virtually no accountability. If a business continually fails to meet its projected revenue forecasts or repeatedly fails to satisfy the needs of the public the corporation will more than likely collapse as a better, more efficient company who can do these things replaces them in the market because there is such a vast and diverse number of corporations competing. Such is not the case in American politics; it is the corporate equivalent of a duopoly.

Currently neither political party lives in the fear of being disbanded or becoming “bankrupt,” nor does sending a “message” by voting out a particular candidate do anything to actually further the cause of progress. Whereas corporations sell us a quantifiable good or service, the political parties sell us rhetoric because they do not have to meet our expectations or accomplish goals; they only have to be a better option than the other guy. The Democrat’s strategy for elections over the past couple elections should be evidence enough. They have not presented an actual, tangible plan for resolving global issues that is better than the Republicans (which is tragic because there are plenty out there) but rather have trumpeted how terrible the current incumbents are and how they, like Jack Johnson, are nothing like John Jackson. After all, who else are you going to vote for? It’s either them or us.

Furthermore, accomplishing goals and finding real solutions to problems is counterproductive to this political model because it would effectively eliminate a means of maintaining power. Where would Republicans be without abortion? Where would Democrats be without the elderly in fear of losing social security? This problem is even further exacerbated by a single political party possessing market share over the whole of Government. That is why I’ll probably be voting Democrat this election year. Until a third party can raise sufficient capital to compete financially with the two existing conglomerates, voting third party or independent will not be a viable solution.

As is, we are stuck with this system of Government and if the two party system is not healthy for America, a single party controlling all facets is the plague. As a conservative, I still believe that a Republican ought to hold the office of the Presidency for this position has far more clout than any other branch – which alone should raise some red-flags for those who think an actual “republic” envisioned by our Founding Fathers was a great idea – but as far as Congress is concerned, things need to be shaken up. The irony of the Republican Party is that they are most effective and most productive when they are the underdogs. Democratic control over the House, or at best Congress, would not be the end of the world for Conservatives. If nothing else, it would re-ignite the passion of the early 90s and remind Republicans of why they were elected in the first place. The Republican Party has become complacent, mediocre, and quite frankly infested with people who are anything but conservative.

Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House would be the most pleasant vile I’d ever have to swallow if it would bring true conservatism back.


I should note that voting for Bill Nelson may be an extremely difficult decision to make. If I do go through with this, I'll have to hold my proverbial nose while I vote. I know Republicans hate Katherine Harris, but the more I read and hear her, the more I like her. Ignoring for a moment the fact that Nelson looks like Frankenstein on Botox, there is just nothing I see that validates this particular man being in office. I just don't get it.